You are currently browsing the monthly archive for July 2008.
Sento il peso. Quello dell’assenza. E’ li’, sul cuore. Nella mente. Nei ricordi che mi porto in giro ad ogni istante.
Quando sento una canzone – Stairway to Heaven, Upside down… -, quando vedo una foto, sento un odore, ricordo una serata… Mi viene il suo viso. Il modo che ha di ridere, di abbracciare i suoi amici. Di tenermi vicina e di farmi sentire piccola piccola, ma sempre al sicuro. Di darmi voglia di baciarlo, di tenerlo vicino a me perche’ nessuno me lo rubi, lo tiri lontano da me, lasciandomi sola, senza la sua presenza che mi conforta.
Non mi piace pensare cosi’. Non mi piace sentirmi dipendente. E in realta’, non lo sono. So benissimo che se mai dovesse arrivare qualcun’altro, potrei “guarire” di questa mancanza, del peso di questa sua assenza. Come mi e’ successo tra lui e quello prima, quello prima e quello ancora prima di lui… Pero’ mi piace credere che questa storia ha qualcosa di diverso, che potrebbe svilupparsi in una cosa bella.
Non e’ nient’altro che “tenerezza e marmellata di baci”….
Today was my first day of farniente in a long, long, *long* time. My first day in which I could do nothing and not have to feel guilty about not studying or getting papers signed or running around like a headless chicken. Which is exactly what I’ve been doing for the past month, studying for exams, trying to get all my marks accounted for (which I have not yet succeeded in doing…), writing letters to various administrative organs (pointless, of course), etc. When I finally got home last Friday night after a 4-hour drive from Turin, I had to leave a mere 28 hours later for Bordeaux where I was looking for a flat, that I thankfully found. Yesterday afternoon I finally got home, and after attending a huge birthday bash last night, I spent all day just chilling on the balcony, reading a book and getting some much needed suntan.
I thought this day would never come. I literally felt like I was not getting any summer holidays this year. But I am. Albeit the shortest ever in my life, but at least I get a month off from school and hassles. Well, not totally. I need to hassle with bureaucracy and reading some boring book as an extra for a class because my teacher thought the work I did for the said class was too “anarchic”. That’s the university of Turin and its view of anything ever so slightly out of the ordinary. Thumbs up guys!
Hopefully this month of holidays (and *fingers crossed* traveling) will be ideal for the shooting of some new pics. I can’t wait!
There are so many things that I have wanted to write about in the past few weeks, but intense studying and life-living have made it practically impossible to update my own little cyber space.
- How can a person so outwardly keen on being a loyal boyfriend suck so much at it, and in public too? And how can so many people maintain the wrong idea about this person, when there are so many clues as to his real nature? Sometimes, people’swilling blindness amazes and astounds me. It really is quite incredible, the way the human mind works.
- Why is it that when you know you have little time left somewhere, you immediately start living life to its fullest, enjoying very moment, making the most ofevery encounter? And why is it that the encounters which have the most potential for beauty are the ones you make last, at the very last possible minute?
- How can people be so different? How can there be such vile and senseless beings on the one side, and on the other such radiant and admirable people? How is the evil in the world not balanced by the greater goodness? (I don’t actually believe in good vs. evil and the greater goodness, but some people whom I’ve met in the past 2 months have shown me why human beings have a tendency to believe in it.)
- My time in Bordeaux searching for an apartment was rendered really fun by new people whom I am very happy to know, will be a part of my life from now on.
- Why is it that guys you don’t give yourself to seem to want you forever? Even years later? I’v had a repetition of cases like this, and it gets frustrating that they can’t just get over it and be friends. Kiss and make up? No, they want kiss and make out….
That’s what I’d like to do to Belgium, annihilate it into oblivion (as non-English as the sentence may be).
To any Belgians there may be out there: I don’t actually have anything against you or your country, but there is a Belgian girl in particular that I’m not so happy with right now. Actually, I’m down right pissed at her, so I tend to take it out on a worldwide scale. Sorry 
Chi cazzo pensa di essere, quella troietta di merda? E lui? Ma che “non sono il genere di tipo che fa le corna alla sua ragazza”? E come no? Lo hai fatto, e piu’ volte, pure! Stronzo.
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” said Shakespeare. It is rarely as true as when it comes to me. Blood will be shed. People will pay. And I will get my revenge. Satisfaction.
Apparently, I looked “splendid” (or was it fabulous?) on Monday night. I think it was just hormones speaking…
It’s still nice to hear it from time to time though, especially if it’s not expected Grazie A! :*
